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Ottawa Senators to Change Name Amidst Senate Scandal

Yesterday morning, the Ottawa Senators held a press conference at Canadian Tire Centre. Speculation leading up to the event suggested that the team would announce a new player acquisition or the dismissal of a management member. As it turns out, members of the press were very surprised at what Brian Murphy had to say.

“Due to the recent political controversy, the Ottawa Senators Hockey Club has decided that it will search for a new team name for the 2016-2017 season. In Roman times, Senators were respectable men who stood for justice and honour. In light of recent problems in the senate, our organization no longer wishes to be associated with them.”
Fans have already begun suggesting new names for Ottawa’s hockey team. Twitter has exploded with ideas, with the front runners such as “the Ottawa Francophones”, “the Ottawa Drones”, or “the Ottawa Rough Riders”.
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Public Transit Poll: OC Transpo Voted “Best” and “Worst”

Last week, the results from Ottawa’s first ever Public Transit Poll were released. The poll was conducted over the span of two months, and reached approximately 25 000 people.
OC Transpo was featured heavily in the poll, and was voted “Best Public Transport Provider”. Unfortunately, it also claimed the title of “Worst Public Transport Provider”.
“We are obviously honoured that the citizens of Ottawa voted us “Best Public Transport Provider” said Don Henley, Public Outreach Officer for OC Transpo, “I think the results of this poll reflect the hard work that we have been doing in the community. We have the most routes, widest service, and best rates of any other bus company in Ottawa, and people appreciate that”. Mr Henley refused to comment on some of the other findings of the poll, such as OC Transpo being voted “least reliable” and “rudest”.
It is unclear if OC Transpo will act on any of the findings of the Public Transit Poll, but many experts predict that Ottawans will continue to use OC Transpo as their primary public transportation carrier.
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Deer Shot in Greenbelt, Refuses to Cooperate with Police

Ottawa Police’s Guns and Gangs Unit were called to Crystal Beach early yesterday morning after a deer was found shot in the leg. The animal was taken to a vet with non-life threatening injuries, but would not provide police details with the attack, his injury, or even his identity.
“We see these cases a lot during this season” says Detective Annie Baron, who leads the Guns and Gangs Unit, “Deer, usually young males, fight for territory in the Greenbelt, and occasionally it boils over into a shooting. The most frustrating part is that they refuse to communicate with us. It’s one of the rules on the streets: If you’re a deer, you don’t talk to cops.”
This has been the ninth shooting of this nature of 2015, and police expect this number to go up in the coming months. “It’s a different world in there” Detective Baron sighs, “Respect and violence are king, and the best we can do is find a way to reach these young males before they fall into these crowds. It’s an ongoing process, but it’s one we are committed to.”