Category: News

The Ottawa Redblacks have begun to enjoy a well-deserved break after staging a dramatic comeback which culminated in them competing for the Grey Cup. While the pro-athletes obviously engage in strength and conditioning training during the off season, there are only so many push-ups one can do in a day. Ottawhat News sat down with a few of the Redblacks and asked them what they like to do between seasons.

Some players recharge their batteries by staying in. “I use this time to catch up on TV” says tight end Troy Banner “Right now I am burning through Little Mosque on the Prairie.”

“I am a huge audiophile. I could listen to vinyl for days. Specifically, I like Joni Mitchell and Dolly Parton,” raves running back Frank Giuseppe.

Other players can’t sit still, deciding instead to keep working. “I started selling Cutco knives last year. It’s hard work, but going door to door is pretty fun when people recognize you. It certainly doesn’t hurt my sales,” says offensive lineman Patrice Dosslre.

“Football’s my job, but improv is my passion,” says linebacker Nathan Holmes, “When the season is done, I hook up with my troupe and we do long form 5 nights a week.”

Finally, a few of the Redblacks enjoy fairly successful athletic careers in the off-season. Wide receiver Marcus Bailey plays on a semi-professional polo team in Latvia, and kicker Max Ocupace is ranked 148th in the world of darts. Whatever they do, let’s hope they come back refreshed for next season.

When Maya Boyanska took an impromptu trip to the Ottawa Humane Society a few months ago, she had no idea that she would be making a decision that would change her life forever. That day, she decided to adopt Smudge, a Manx cat with seemingly endless amounts of energy.

“Smudge loves to explore. When I first brought her home, she spent days looking around the house and peering out all the windows. After a week, I noticed that her favourite spot to look at was the garbage bins in my backyard. She would sit at the back window and meow in that direction for hours.”

Two weeks ago, Maya received a Green Bin voucher in the mail, addressed to “Mrs. Meow”. The young woman was surprised, as she had not contacted the city for one. “I checked my landline, and a call to 311 was made while I was at work! I never really thought about using a Green Bin before, but when I got the voucher, I decided I may as well try it out” she explains.

Maya has had her new Green Bin for a week, and is enjoying it. “I can’t believe how little garbage I produce now, it’s awesome. I love how they come every week! I am so thankful to have a cat that cares so much about me and the environment. Smudge is a special animal…how many cats do you know that have the intelligence to dial a phone and the patience to sit on hold with 311?”

Last week, the International Bureaucrat Olympic Committee (IBOC) announced the successful bids for the 2016, 2020, and 2024 Bureaucrat Olympic games. While Berlin will host the event in 2016, and Nairobi in 2024, Ottawa has secured the honour of putting on the games in 2020.

“It’s a big day for us, obviously. We are elated. Ottawa has always had a strong bureaucratic scene, and now we have a chance to show the world,” said Danielle Doherty, President of the Ottawa Bureaucrat Olympic Committee,  “We’ve been working on bringing the Games to Ottawa for six years, and now that we have done it, the real work begins. There is so much to do to prepare for 2020”.

The Bureaucrat Olympics is a 15 day event that highlights elite pencil pushers from around the world. Competitors enter events such as File-Sorting, the Rolling Chair Relay, and Buzzwording. The games will bring upwards of 200 athletes to the city, and likely many more spectators.

Allan Nyguen, who works as a Human Resources Officer for Health Canada, has already been named the captain of Team Canada. “It’s an honour,” says Nyguen, “Everyone on the team is a superstar, so it’s pretty wild that I was chosen. My event is Conflict Resolution, and I can’t wait to get to it. Go Canada!”