War Museum to Host Nature Nocturne-Style Event

With the Museum of Nature selling out its monthly “Nature Nocturne” event yet again, the Canadian War Museum has decided to host a similar evening of drinking and dancing.

“Drunk Tank” promises to be an all night party, and features drink specials on molotov cocktails, B52s, and Sex on the Juno Beaches. Patrons will groove to the relentless beats of Minister of National Defence Harjit Sajjan, who will guest DJ the inaugural event. The museum will also offer a VIP lounge that is designed as a scale replica of Vimy Ridge, where VIP guests will receive further discounts on rounds of shots and Irish car bombs.

Early reactions to the announced event are mixed. While some welcome a new event in Ottawa, others call the affair “tasteless” and “immeasurably insensitive.” Besides the aforementioned war puns for the event, the museum’s Hall of Heroes will be converted into a coat check for the evening.

Forever 39: Mom Culture Comes to Ottawa

Forever 39, the lifestyle store that’s been expanding throughout the American suburbs has finally made its way through customs into Canada. The store is the largest seller of leggings, knockoff yoga pants, cheap wine, and Pinterest craft supplies. The US retailer is opening up shop in the nation’s capital’s Tanger Outlets. Its key demographic is suburban women aged 35-55, and the store is set to open here on March 9th.

We spoke with Beth from Kanata Lakes, age 40, who was very excited for the store to open in Ottawa. “I first found the store when my girlfriends and I took a trip to Boston last year. We were amazed; it was the perfect store for us. We all bought matching sweater capes, and bottle of pinot grigio for our night-in at the hotel. We also bought ourselves mason jars and tea candles and made these cute little lanterns we found on Pinterest. I can’t believe they’re finally coming to Ottawa.”

Miranda from Barrhaven, age 37, says about Forever 39, “Even though I’m almost 39, I feel 39 at heart. I can’t believe there’s finally a store for me and all the other moms at book club. I used to go to another craft store for my supplies for the kids, but I think the only place I’ll ever need to go is Forever 39.”

NCC to hear proposal to flash-freeze canal

As early key indicators suggest, Ottawa’s tourism revenue has dropped significantly this winter compared to last year. Many blame the sudden downturn of tourists due to the unfrozen state of the Rideau Canal. The NCC recently launched a Request for Proposal in order to seek creative solutions to help speed up the process of freezing the body of water.

Earlier today, NCC officials heard a bid to flash-freeze the canal using liquid nitrogen, which has been spearheaded by Cryorink, a Missisauga-based company. Cryorink is represented by a capital investment firm headed by Kevin O’Leary, the former Dragon’s Den star who recently finished with a score of -$2,800 on Jeopardy.

Some claim flash-freezing water using liquid nitrogen creates the best type of ice for skaters, but others have serious safety and environmental concerns. The proposal has received a great deal of criticism from Ottawa residents living near the Canal.

“I’d like to know what Catherine McKenna (Minister of Environment and Climate Change) has to say about this. Was she even consulted?” asked Bill Bostic, an Old Ottawa South resident. “What will happen with the Nitrogen left behind on the ice? Will my children be safe to play on the ice? From what I understand, there will be Nitrogen fumes generated from this process – has anyone researched the effect of Nitrogen on the lungs? I don’t think they’ve examined all the potential pitfalls of this plan.”

“I like the plan,” said Deese Blonuts of the Golden Triangle. “The local compressed fluids business has been struggling these past few years and with the downturn in the loonie, this is exactly the kind of projects that can kickstart an economy.”

One thing is certain: With Winterlude only days away, the NCC will have to act quickly to ensure Ottawa does not lose out on any further tourism revenue.