Category: News

A family of four was rushed to hospital this past weekend, suffering from severe boredom. Daren and Nour Karonic, of Toronto, brought their two children to Ottawa for vacation, and had been sight seeing since Thursday of last week. After visiting landmarks such as Parliament Hill, the National Gallery, and the Byward Market, the family decided to take a trip off the beaten path to the quaint Bytown Museum, where tragedy struck.

“I think they were expecting more” says Nancy Ming, a local resident who was at the museum during the incident, “When they arrived they seemed confused, as if they couldn’t believe that the tiny building was a museum. They kept asking the staff to direct them to the rest of the exhibits”. Ms. Ming expressed her sympathy for the family, especially the children. “After being shown the 14th piece of wooden cutlery, their little boy snapped. He just couldn’t take it. His sister went soon after, and I think the parents went down about half an hour after that”.

Unfortunately, this isn’t the first time that safety concerns have been raised at the museum. This past summer, over a dozen people contracted severe boredom while visiting the museum. Last fall, a class of 32 children was hospitalized after their trip to the Bytown Museum. The Karonic family is said to be in serious but stable condition, but could not be reached for a statement.

Residents of Kanata are celebrating this week after voting to separate from Ottawa. The vote took place on Tuesday, and saw 73% of participants vote in favour of seceding from our nation’s capital. John Bailey, the management consultant who led the movement, explains why Kanata felt the need for independence.

“We have a population of nearly 100 000 people, major shopping centres, and a strong sense of local culture. You won’t find a more united, homogeneous community anywhere else in Canada. It was only natural that we become our own city. I look forward to representing Kanata as well as working closely with Mayor Watson to ensure harmony between our two great cities”.

While the vote is certainly an exciting step for Kanata, a number of logistical questions remain. Bailey has proposed that a City Hall be erected within Kanata Centrum, the popular shopping centre. It is unclear if municipal services, such as public transit and garbage collection, will continue to be supplied by Ottawa, or simply be discontinued immediately. Finally, sports fans wonder what will happen to the Ottawa Senators, who will almost certainly will be forced to move from their Kanata arena, the Canadian Tire Centre.

It’s unclear at this time if Nepean, Orleans, Gloucester, Vanier, and Cumberland will follow in Kanata’s footsteps, but at least one thing is clear. Despite the uncertainty, residents are excited about finally having their independence. “This is a great step towards developing a strong Kanata identity. We love the suburbs, hate mosquitos, and are proud to be Kanatians.”

As the Taxi/ Uber war rages on in Ottawa and other cities across Canada, soldiers from both sides find themselves entangled in the conflict. After seeing videos of other cabbies harassing Uber drivers, local cab driver Ahmed Mousai decided to take it to the next level.

“I thought to myself, anyone can take a video of an Uber driver, but what if someone became an Uber driver and worked to destroy it from the inside? That is what caused me to act.” Mousai applied to become a driver, passed his police check, installed the app, and started driving. “I was first surprised by how easy it was. I didn’t have to buy or rent a cab licence. I didn’t have to pay to go pick up at the airport or hotels. It was all so simple: people needed to be picked up, so I went to get them.”

After a month driving for Uber, Mousai made the decision to stay with the company. “I started thinking, why take Uber down? Passengers are friendly. I make more money. I go where I want, when I want. I have no quotas, no restrictions, I just drive.”