The recent downturn of the oil industry has hit the Canadian economy hard. Thousands of jobs have been lost in Western Canada, while the weak Canadian dollar is creating financial barriers for citizens looking to travel. Worst of all, some experts are warning that prices will continue to drop.
“Using the data I have collected over the past year, I can confidently confirm that oil prices will reach $0 by February 2018,” says statistician Bill R. Hurst. “I’ve run the numbers myself, several times in fact. If the price of oil continues to drop at the rate it’s going, it will be free in two years.” Mr. Hurst maintains that his model is foolproof, “In fact, if we use it to project even further into the future, you can see that the value of oil will actually extend into the negatives around March 2018. We will actually make money every time we go to fill our tanks!”
Hurst admits that he is uncertain as to the cause of the projected negative value of oil, but he does offer a theory. “As oil becomes less and less valuable, it will actually cost more money to dispose of it than to refine it. There may not be anywhere to put it. Companies will be forced to pay massive dumping fines, and may instead choose to instead pay consumers to take the commodity off their hands.” Bad news for the oil industry, but good news for Canadian commuters.