Ottawa to remove all street parking spots downtown

Following the success of the segregated bike lanes on Laurier Avenue West and the recent consultations for the planned bike lanes on O’Connor Street, the City of Ottawa has announced their new goal: eliminate all street parking spots downtown.

In a statement released on Monday, city spokesperson Brittany Jones cited unhappy drivers as the primary motivation behind the move, stating “We looked at the amount of money we spent trying to coddle drivers by creating bike lanes; taxpayers would be astonished.” The initiative is said to be a proactive approach for future projects, “It’s easier to get rid of all parking spots in anticipation for future bike lanes,” continued Gordon, “let’s face it, these bikers aren’t going anywhere and we’re not about to hold a public forum every time we have to act on yet another one of their complaints.”

The Street Parking Reduction Plan is expected to begin in the ByWard Market in June 2016, expanding shortly thereafter to Downtown, Centretown, and the Golden Triangle. City officials confirmed an expected increase in revenue from parking tickets, but clarified that this is “not at all related to the municipality’s $41,000,000 deficit for 2015, but the amount of money we’ll get out of reduced consultation expenses and additional parking tickets will certainly help.”

In attempt to further reduce consultation time and costs, future community forums will be held exclusively in areas where parking is not available within a two kilometre radius.

Refugees agree with Saskatchewan’s Premier

Recently-landed Syrian refugees are thankful for comments made by the Saskatchewan Premier.

In late November, Premier Brad Wall urged the federal government to suspend its plan to bring 25,000 Syrian refugees to Canada by year-end, citing safety and security concerns. Syrian refugees claim to have no issues with Premier Wall’s stance, stating that Saskatchewan is not a suitable destination for refugees…or anyone, for that matter.

“I just fled a desolate wasteland, I’m not looking to relocate to another one,” explained Adnan Ali, who is moving his family of four to Ottawa’s east end. “I’m tired of unlicensed guns, terrible football teams, and being unable to grow anything for my family.”

Many seem to agree with Mr. Ali, hoping to make the best of this new chapter. Ottawans have risen to the occasion, supporting local shelters and family centres to help facilitate refugee settlement in Canada’s capital city.

“I feel blessed to see so much support from the community,” continued Ali, “I’m particularly excited to experience Canadian culture in Ottawa. I already have my RedBlacks jersey. Can you imagine if I had to cheer for the Roughriders? That would have been terrible.”

We’ve been working hard on…Ottawhat News!

The Ottawhat? hosts just getting started, along with our ever-present, but mostly silent producer, Zach.

Keegan, Amaan and I started Ottawhat? last spring as a way to get to know people around Ottawa. For 70 straight weeks, we’ve interviewed somebody with something interesting to say about our beloved city. Many of our episodes feature a segment called Classic Ottawa, a fun look at some of the Ottawa-est stories we come across in the week leading up to the show.

Now, we really love these stories, because so many crazy things go on every day in Ottawa. As we find these stories, we typically also end up discussing what big news story will hit our city next. With that in mind, I’m excited to introduce a new part of Ottawhat that we’re just so happy to share with you, Ottawhat News! We will still post a new episode of the podcast every week, but from time to time we’ll also be bringing you local news, hot off the presses.

Unlike your typical news, though, these stories are ones you could imagine happening, even if they haven’t taken place yet. We really hope you like it!

You can check out the latest episode of the podcast right here, and check out the first news story, by our own Keegan On, below: