Tag: news

Last week, the International Bureaucrat Olympic Committee (IBOC) announced the successful bids for the 2016, 2020, and 2024 Bureaucrat Olympic games. While Berlin will host the event in 2016, and Nairobi in 2024, Ottawa has secured the honour of putting on the games in 2020.

“It’s a big day for us, obviously. We are elated. Ottawa has always had a strong bureaucratic scene, and now we have a chance to show the world,” said Danielle Doherty, President of the Ottawa Bureaucrat Olympic Committee,  “We’ve been working on bringing the Games to Ottawa for six years, and now that we have done it, the real work begins. There is so much to do to prepare for 2020”.

The Bureaucrat Olympics is a 15 day event that highlights elite pencil pushers from around the world. Competitors enter events such as File-Sorting, the Rolling Chair Relay, and Buzzwording. The games will bring upwards of 200 athletes to the city, and likely many more spectators.

Allan Nyguen, who works as a Human Resources Officer for Health Canada, has already been named the captain of Team Canada. “It’s an honour,” says Nyguen, “Everyone on the team is a superstar, so it’s pretty wild that I was chosen. My event is Conflict Resolution, and I can’t wait to get to it. Go Canada!”

Ottawa City Council met last week to formulate a budget for 2016. The city is facing a record-setting deficit, and has been investigating creative ways to bolster municipal earnings. Some Councillors argued that cutting arts programming could save money, but since no one dared propose a tax increase, the Council ultimately decided on a dramatic move: selling Vanier to Hull for 22 million dollars.

“The City of Ottawa is growing. When a population rises, so do costs.” said Gregory Scott, Councillor for Nepean, “The decision to sell Vanier solves a lot of problems for us. The money from the sale will pay off Ottawa’s debts, giving us a fresh start for the new fiscal year. Additionally, a slightly smaller Ottawa means less roads to plough and less potholes to fix. Finally, our significant police forces that have been allocated for Vanier will be distributed elsewhere, making the city safer for everyone.”

The sale came as a surprise to residents, as something of this nature has never been done before. One has to wonder what those who live in Vanier think of the decision, but we were unable to obtain a statement from anyone, as none of our staff wanted to go there.

Black Friday has its roots in American Thanksgiving sales, but many Ottawa businesses will be offering major discounts this weekend as well. The Ottawa RedBlacks got their name from Ottawa’s previous CFL team’s colours, Red and Black.

With the RedBlacks capturing a spot in this year’s Grey Cup on Sunday, there has been a lot of confusion as to what customers and fans can expect to find while they’re out today. The city has declared today to be “RedBlack Friday”, with restaurants and bars in the Glebe and Old Ottawa South offering specials through this weekend as Grey Cup hype builds.

Businesses in the area are understandably having some difficulty explaining deals to staff and customers. Jared McDonough, a manager at Crust and Crate at Lansdowne, arrived to work early this morning to find over 150 people lined up expecting door crasher sales. “I’ve never seen anything like this,” he said. “I think they might not realize this isn’t Crate and Barrel. We advertised drink specials as a part of RedBlack Friday, but I never would have expected this.”

By later today this confusion should all be sorted out, but it may happen all over again if the RedBlacks are able to win on Sunday. Kettleman’s has already said it plans to offer discounts and special deals on Monday if Henry “Cyber” Burris wins Grey Cup MVP.